"I think there's something more, but it requires a little excursion from a usual Cartesian worldview to get at.

Start with the LaoTse premise
that self and other are just two ends of an abstraction -
no more magical than left and right
or after and before.

By combining these abstractions we construe ourselves with respect to the actors and drama of our memories; we make a little story within which to understand what's happening, and we are motivated by the dramatic forces within this story.